It’s telling to spend a few minutes with a veteran of the Nebraska foster care system, a child who’s never known what it means to have parents and will likely age out of the only care he’s ever known.
Patrick was placed in the system because of abuse and neglect issues when he was 2 years old. He’s now 18 years old.
What does the concept of family mean to him?
“Her,” Patrick said, pointing to social worker Lisa Kelly, whom he just met 7 months ago.
Kelly recently gave the teen a photo of himself as a 2-year-old. She found it in his state case file. It’s the only photo he’s ever seen of himself as a young child. He has no sense of his history or belonging to anyone.
“Honestly, I think his smile is pretty contagious. It’s so big and goofy,” Kelly said.
The curly-headed teen jokes constantly. He’s polite. He said he loves soccer, football, TV, video games and shooting pool. His favorite food is candy and he wants to learn martial arts. He and Kelly plan to take private lessons together.
“I’ll be a martial arts black belt,” he said.
Kelly laughs at his jokes and teases him back. Her goal is to recruit a family for Patrick because she believes he’s not ready to be on his own. Kelly is an adoption worker with Adoption Links Worldwide, an agency partially funded by the Dave Thomas foundation and the Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services to help special needs children find permanent, loving families.
Patrick is considered a special needs child because he’s a teenager who’s been in the system for a lifetime.
“He’s been available for adoption since 2000. Nine years is too long to wait for a family. You shouldn’t have to wait at all,” she said.
Right now, more than 200 Nebraska children are available for adoption. They’re wards of the state, like Patrick, and Kelly is concerned about other children growing up in the system without a firm foundation.
“Not having a stable home is not good for anyone,” she said.
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She’s also concerned about children who age out of the system. When they turn 19 years old, they’re on their own. After spending years in care, they're not equipped to find jobs and often have no place to live. At the same time, they're trying to sort out a painful childhood of neglect, abuse or abandonment. And they don't have role models in their lives to help them figure out how to support themselves and be productive, successful adults.
Nationwide, the Children's Aid Society reports 20,000 children age out of the social services system each year.
“A lot of these children, a large percentage will end up becoming homeless, females becoming pregnant and getting in trouble and going to jail,” Kelly said.
By some estimates, 50 percent of children who age out of foster care will become homeless within two years. Up to 26 percent of these children are in jail and about half of all young women who age out of the system become pregnant within 18 months.
“Children need a permanent home and a stable home. Somewhere they can go. I think of myself going home for the holidays or calling someone to cook a meatloaf. What temperature does it need to be?” Kelly said.
She’d like to find a light-hearted family that will provide Patrick with structure and consistency. She believes a two-parent household would be best so he could learn from a male role model and have lots of attention.
“He’ll need somebody there for a long time,” she said.
Children adopted through this program are eligible for free medical insurance and other services. Parents also receive a stipend to help with care.
For more information about Patrick or other Nebraska children who’d like to be adopted call Adoption Links Worldwide at 402-556-2367, ext. 225.
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