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Last Updated: Thursday, October 1, 2026 at 07:26 PM
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Fundraiser set for veterans memorial

What Happened to A Man Who Wasn't a Subscriber

What Happened to A Man Who Wasn't a SubscriberOnce upon a time a man who was too economical to take this paper sent his little boy to borrow the copy taken by his neighbor. In his haste, the boy ran over a $4.00 hive of bees and in ten minutes looked like a watery summer squash. His cries reached his father, who ran to his assistance and failing to see a barb wire fence, ran into it, breaking it down, cutting a handful of flesh from his anatomy and ruining a $4.00 pair of trousers. The old cow took advantage of the gap in the fence, got into a cornfield and killed herself eating green corn. Hearing the racket, his wife ran, upsetting a four-gallon churnful of rich cream into a basket of kittens, drowning the whole lot. In her hurry she dropped a $7 set of teeth. The baby, left alone, crawled through the spilled milk into the parlor and ruined a $20 carpet. During the excitement the eldest daughter ran away with the hired man, the calves got out and the dog broke up eleven setting hens.Moral: Subscribe to the Gazette