Boy, 11, urinates on $36K worth of Apple MacBooks

He had the means and the opportunity, but we may never know the motive of an 11-year-old student who urinated on a couple dozen laptops left unattended at Upper Allen Township Elementary in Pennsylvania.

In a report now bemusing Mac fan forums across the Internet, the Upper Allen Township Police Department states that "the cart and computers were damaged beyond repair, resulting in the loss of over $36,000." 

The cart in question contained approximately 30 school-owned MacBooks, according to a police department spokesperson I spoke to, who couldn't tell me why the kid did it — let alone how.  Because, c'mon — 30 MacBooks, even stacked, make for a formidable amount of square footage to cover, especially for a kid.

Nevertheless, all MacBooks went down as a total loss, and John Brownlee at Cult of Mac educates us on the likely reason why. 

Sure enough, not even dog urine is acceptable. I know this because the helpful woman who answered the phone at the New York City's Fifth Avenue Apple Store told me that no, if my dog urinated on my MacBook, no Apple Genius would touch it. What's more, "biohazard" is the exact word she used, right before she encouraged me to "Google" a repair outfit that would deign to do such dirty work.  

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Dog urination aside, there are other MacBook pathogens that may surprise you. So if you smoke, heads up. Cigarette smoke-infused Apple products count as biohazards too, as Consumerist reported in 2009. 

For Subscribers

FOR SUBSCRIBERSAbdul El-Sayed tries to woo MAHA voters as Democrats seek inroads with RFK’s supporters

FOR SUBSCRIBERSKratom-like substances are popping up in a typically benign supplement

FOR SUBSCRIBERSGOP super PAC increases its spending for Sen. Jon Husted in tough Ohio race

FOR SUBSCRIBERSRecords reveal tumultuous marriage between slain New York Times executive and wife

FOR SUBSCRIBERSFrom clean energy warrior to ‘wall of shame,’ James Talarico reverses on a fossil fuel money pledge

FOR SUBSCRIBERSCongressional staff planned official trip with luxury stops in Italy and France weeks before election

FOR SUBSCRIBERSA harrowing ordeal aboard an Israel-bound plane

FOR SUBSCRIBERSOpenAI CEO Sam Altman to skip congressional hearing on rogue AI agents

FOR SUBSCRIBERSKey DOJ lawyers departed Trump ‘grand conspiracy’ probe amid pressure to produce, source says

FOR SUBSCRIBERSTrump’s new AI chatbot often links to a site launched under Clinton 26 years ago

FOR SUBSCRIBERSAt MAHA summit, industry CEOs the movement once vilified take the stage

FOR SUBSCRIBERSThis Paralympian has two goals: Win medals and give away $500,000 to her teammates

FOR SUBSCRIBERSCornell rape allegation spotlights stringent New York state laws that have long drawn criticism

FOR SUBSCRIBERSThe debate over AI’s future rages on both coasts

FOR SUBSCRIBERSDecades-old march dispute reignites in Northern Ireland, threatening political crisis

For the crime of creating $36K in Apple biohazards, the boy in question was charged with institutional vandalism and criminal mischief. While the police spokesperson assures me that, contrary to some reports, the kid was not arrested, his case was forwarded to the Cumberland County Juvenile Probation Department.

Helen A.S. Popkin goes blah blah blah about the Internet. Tell her to get a real job on Twitter and/or Facebook. Also, Google+.